From Where You Are
by captainhillshipper
Summary: Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. A follow up to my story "Too Busy." For Captain Hill Week. T for language and inuendo.


**A/N: After I wrote 'Too Busy,' I was asked by several people to continue the story. I thought at some point I might, but at the time nothing came to me. Then I read the Steggy story to ruin me for all time and I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to jump that hurdle and ship Steve with anyone again within MCU canon, at least as long as Peggy lived. :D (Seriously, people, that story still kills me.) But, this particular prompt for Captain Hill Week gave me an idea. And who am I to pass up a perfectly good opportunity to torture, er, write about, my muses. Needless to say, this story will make more sense if you read 'Too Busy.' There is a T version and an M version, depending on your bent. (But you aren't allowed to laugh at the M version, it was the first sex scene I ever wrote.)  
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**The prompts for today's story are** **"Us against the World"** **by Coldplay** **&** "**Travels." The quote at the beginning of the story I found on Pinterest, uncredited. The title is from the Lifehouse song.  
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**Please R&R.**

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><p><em>"It's easy to take off your clothes and have sex.<br>People do it all the time.__  
>But opening up your soul to someone,<br>letting them into your spirit,  
>thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams...<br>that is being naked."_

Maria stretched her arm to pick up her phone off her bedside table, then flicked the screen with her thumb to turn off the morning alarm. She hadn't needed it. She rarely did, but less so over the previous two weeks. She sighed loudly as she sat up and threw her legs over the side of her bed.

Had it already been two weeks? Or, maybe the better question was, had it _only _been two weeks? Two weeks since she'd allowed Steve to carry her into this room, lay her on this bed, and give her what she had wanted from him for longer than she cared to admit. It had seemed right at the time, even, dare she admit, perfect. The fall of SHIELD allowed her to open herself to something she'd only toyed with before. But, in the heat of the moment, she had opened herself farther than she'd intended.

It was his surprise at her declaration of love that unnerved her. She had tried to reason within herself that, of course, he would be surprised. She was such a closed person. He probably hadn't expected her to say what she'd said first. He had been the one to initiate everything else in their relationship, except the ending of it that had been her doing.

Two hours later she walked into the lobby of the Avengers Tower and received the first text of the day. It wasn't a surprise. He always texted her whenever he got the chance. He had called the first few days, then she had told him texting might work better. The excuse she'd used had been the time difference and his need for rest. Maria wondered if Steve would see it as the distancing technique for which she was using it.

She didn't reply until she was settled in her office, forty-five minutes later.

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><p>Steve sat in his hotel room in Prague and stared at his phone as if he could will Maria to reply to his text any sooner than she planned. It had become apparent to him in the two weeks since he'd left her in New York that she had quickly re-erected her walls. He was questioning the wisdom of going to her his last night in the city. Maybe he should have waited until he could have been there to ensure their relationship was more secure. But after the events in DC, and not knowing exactly what would happen when, if, he found Bucky, he'd just wanted her to know his feelings for her hadn't changed.<p>

There was a knock at his door. It would be Sam, with lunch. Steve glanced through the peep hole to confirm then opened the door to his friend.

"No pizza in this damned city," Sam commented as he carried the bag of food into the room. "Not any worth eating, at any rate."

He set the food on the table next to Steve's phone and glanced back at the super soldier.

"She text back yet?"

Steve stared at Sam for a moment before he answered. He wanted to talk to Sam about it, he knew Sam understood people better than he did. But he didn't want to betray any of Maria's confidences. It was one thing for Sam to figure out where Steve had gone their last night in New York, it was quite another for Steve to share any information about Maria with him. Instead, he shook his head and sat down to eat.

When Maria finally responded nearly an hour later, it was short and to the point. Steve felt his chest tighten. He couldn't leave Europe now to try to sort this out face to face, and he felt as if she knew that. She knew he couldn't get to her, couldn't try to convince her to let them work. And she was using that knowledge.

"She's complicated," Sam said.

It wasn't a question and Steve just nodded confirmation.

"But she's worth the effort."

Again, it wasn't a question, but Steve hesitated before he answered.

"I just thought." He stopped and groaned as he rubbed his hands on his face. "I thought now that SHIELD was gone." He paused again. "I thought that was the issue."

They were silent as they finished their meal. Steve was lost in his thoughts. He really had no idea what to do. She had told him she loved him. The memory of her saying those words brought him only a small comfort, though.

"So, obviously, SHIELD wasn't the main problem," Sam restarted the conversation.

Steve shook his head.

"It was just her excuse," he said.

"Or a defense," Sam suggested.

Steve nodded in agreement again. She'd told him about her father, Steve knew she'd used the story as a test of some sort. She wanted to see what would cause him to run from her. Instead, when it was obvious Steve had no intention of leaving, it was Maria who had run. And she was doing it again.

"We could go back," Sam started, but Steve cut him off.

"No, not yet," he said. "We just got to Prague."

That night was a sleepless one for Steve. He stared at the ceiling trying to work out what he should do. Sam had suggested having flowers delivered to her office. Steve wasn't sure if that was a good idea since no one at Stark knew the two of them were, or ever had been, an item. Maria might see it as an overstep and run faster. As the room lightened, Steve knew he had to do something drastic if he wanted to salvage things before Maria burned all her bridges.

He rose and dressed, then headed down to the street where there was a bakery. He bought a variety of pastries and some coffee before he went back to his room. He knew it was too early for Sam to be awake, but he wanted to eat something and he would save the rest for Sam.

At 7am Prague time, 1am New York time, Steve took a deep breath and dialed Maria's number on his cell. She answered after the second ring.

"Steve, what's wrong?" she asked, breathlessly.

The fear in her voice was almost a comfort to him.

"I don't know, Maria," he said. "But something is. Why are you trying to distance yourself from me?"

There was silence at the other end of the line and Steve prayed that she wouldn't hang up on him.

"I thought you said." He stopped and took another deep breath "You told me you."

Steve hadn't counted on the emotions he felt. When she'd cut him off the first time, he'd been angry, maybe even briefly bitter. This time, however, with the words and sentiments they'd exchanged before he'd left, he realized his whole heart was in this now, and it hurt.

"Steve, I." Maria's voice was quiet and almost sad, though that was all she said.

"Please, Maria, don't do this again." Steve was almost to the point of begging. "I need." He wanted to tell her how much he needed her, especially now.

They were both quiet for a minute. Steve had no idea what else to say to convince her.

"I'm sorry, Steve," she said.

Steve sucked in a breath, expecting the worst, so he was surprised by her next words.

"I'm afraid." Her voice was quiet and pained and Steve thought she was going to say more, then he realized what she'd just confessed.

"Oh, g-d, Maria, you don't have to be." He tried to assure her.

"But, what if." She stopped again and Steve tried to read between her words. "What if" had nothing to do with "what if" something bad happened to Steve while he was searching for Bucky. His realization served to increase the tight feeling in his chest.

"Maria, that's never gonna happen," he said and wished he could be there to hold her and reassure her with more than words. "There is no one else, and there's never gonna be anyone else."

She didn't respond but Steve could hear her breaths coming short at the other end.

"Baby, you gotta believe me, please," he pleaded. "I would never do that to you. Don't you trust me?"

"I do, Steve, it's just." She stopped again and Steve felt himself grow angry. Not at Maria, but at every person who had ever made her feel so worthless. And finally, Steve thought he might have found some words that would, if not convince her, at least make her think.

"I'm not them, Maria," he said. "I will never leave you, I swear."

He waited for a few minutes to let his words sink in and hopefully affect her.

"I wish I was there," he told her.

He stopped for a moment, the realization of what he'd just confessed hitting him.

"Do you need me to come home?" he asked.

"No, Steve," she said, her voice stronger than it had been earlier. "I want you to find Bucky. You need that, Steve. You deserve that."

It was Steve's turn to think about what she'd said.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," she said.

He laughed quietly.

"You're a beautiful mess," he said. "You're the sexiest, sassiest, strongest, most amazing mess I've ever known."

She laughed now and Steve felt tension release from his body as he listened.

"I don't deserve you, Steve," she said and her voice turned quiet again.

"Yes," he said. "You do. And when I get home, I'm going to prove it to you."

"Promise?" she asked, her voice husky and Steve choked back a groan.

"Don't you dare start that." Steve laughed nervously. "Sam's going to be here any minute and I need to be presentable."

He heard her laugh again and the rest of the tension roll off as he joined her.

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><p>Maria stared unseeing at the screen of her computer. She'd slept far better after Steve's midnight call than she had since he left. But, now that she was awake, she found she had to replay his words repeatedly just to assure herself. She'd never allowed herself to be this close to anyone and it was incredibly unnerving. She shook her head and tried to concentrate on her work. A knock at the door prevented her this time.<p>

She called out and the door opened to reveal her assistant carrying a small glass vase filled with roses and mums.

"These just came for you, Ms. Hill," the woman said and she handed them to Maria.

Maria stared in surprise. She couldn't recall the last time someone had sent her flowers. Which, she supposed as she opened the card and read it after her assistant left, should have been her first clue as to whom they were from.

"To my beautiful, wonderful, worthy mess, Thanks for last night. Yours, always. I promise."


End file.
